Published: April 2007 in Bay Area Business Women. An expanded version of this article which includes an additional stage is available in the booklet Supplies for the Journey.

Mastering Chronic Pain

When did you last hear someone speak of “mastering” chronic pain? Words and thoughts have tremendous power, creating images in your mind that translate information to your body — your greatest source of wisdom. What would it feel like if you were mastering chronic pain?

From working with people in pain, I will share the single greatest tip I’ve gained from my personal experience and: reaching mastery is a path. If you choose to follow that path, it will lead you to feeling more in control of your life and finding you have many of your own answers. However, it will require courage and belief that the journey is worthwhile because there are no shortcuts — you simply have to travel the path. Here are three “stages” along the path.

Cycling

Many people enter the cycling stage soon after the onset of symptoms or a diagnosis. Their experience of pain can be like a roller coaster — often overdoing activities when they feel good and taking days or weeks to recover. They resist the need to do anything differently and want only to return to a pain-free life. The world feels out of control, muscles tense, depression sets in, and fear of the future are ever present.

It is an exhausting cycle. If you can relate to this, know that this stage is normal, but that you need not, and should not, settle for it. To break this cycle, however, you must come to accept that pain is part of your life at this time.

This does not mean accepting defeat. It means accepting what is so you can move forward. Acceptance allows you to stop resenting what you can no longer do and begin focusing instead on what you can do. This enables you to move into the more stable stage of managing.

Managing

In the managing stage, a sense of control returns, and with it seeds of confidence are sown. The Stanford Arthritis Self-Management program was based on a clinical study that found the reason people are able to self-manage is due to confidence in their ability to make changes. To gain greater confidence, you need to build on your successes in meeting small specific goals. Success breeds more success and more confidence. As your confidence and your ability to make changes grow, you will come to know that you have control over your own belief system. This knowledge will open you to the possibility that you don’t have to settle for managing your pain. You are ready for mastery when you believe you can live a richer and fuller life because of pain.

Mastering

In mastery, you will transcend limitations and expand with new beliefs of how to take the ALL of your experiences, including pain, and make something even greater from it. Seeking guidance from outside experts continues to be valuable, though your focus will be on knowing the answers lie within. When you no longer fear pain, you can live fearlessly in all aspects of life. This allows you to continue going deeper within, discovering and breaking the old conditioned patterns that led to your painful symptoms. The greatest lesson you learn in mastery is self-love.

Why Know About this Path

Knowledge is power and points you to having choice — choice in how you think about your chronic pain, how you feel about yourself and, in turn, the actions you take. Choice allows you to embrace this path, and move positively forward instead of being stuck in reacting to what life has given you. So, wherever you are on your path — begin there.

I have traveled this path for more than 20 years. My journey began at age 30 when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). Today, after two knee replacements and fifteen years of taking prescription medication, I live in what I know is a place of mastery. I am off all medication, actually reversing the effects of RA, and living more fearlessly than I ever have. I reached here because I refused to settle for a smaller life because of chronic pain. Living a smaller life is full of “I can’t” and reaching for the bigger life I deserve is “how can I?” So I will not settle even now, and perhaps there is yet another stage for me to discover.

This is a journey of not settling. And when you learn you don’t have to settle for a smaller life because of chronic pain, you will know you need not settle in any part of your life. Therein lies a true gift of having chronic pain.



Betty Louise, a professional coach, helps people optimize their health. She is instructing a free event on mastering chronic pain on April 20th at the Healus Center in Corte Madera. For more information, call (415) 898-0885 or visit http://www.coachbetty.com.